In all randomness, .....

The 'create post' layout still looks very odd.


I remembered reading in literature that we cannot run away from our past, or the past has caught up with you. it's true. I ran away for almost 8 years but i'm coming to terms and finally facing it.

Often, it is easier seek forgiveness from others than forgiving yourself. Perhaps that's why i always think less of myself whenever i do something which i feel is terribly wrong. I don't think my gfs will read this, I feel very fortunate that i have gfs who love me for who i am. even though they are often not around when i needed someone, they are there after i finally faced up to my problems. They are there when i am ready to talk. Their kind words lightened my sense of guilt. I am fortunate to experience the joy of being honest with the people i love and having the faith that they will accept me no matter how lousy i feel about myself. This feeling, i am not sure if i can find in guy friends. afterall, guy friends don't tell me they still love me for who i am after the talk. it'll be weird, isn't it? =p

I always complain about the differences between friendships among girls and boys. I always feel that the friendships among girls tend to be shallow, they tend to be built on shopping, eating, gossiping... On the other hand, i feel that friendships among guys are build on comradeship - way more dependable. While i always look forward to friendships that are similar to comradeship, i learn to appreciate that there are unique characteristics in everything, and it is impractical to expect the best of all worlds to be embodied in a single 'thing/person'. it's frustrating for me to accept this fact which explains for my dissatisfaction with life. Now, i find it easier because i'm older. (maybe my wisdom grew.. haha)

When it comes to platonic friendship, i don't know how to describe. i like to be treated like a guy when i am with guy friends. i appreciate guy friends who treat me with gentleness and sensitivity, i am indeed fortunate to have such guy friends.

I remembered discussing with JQ about friendships. Can't remember the exact details. We've been friends for many years. Five years is considered a lot of years relative to our age. Friends can be friends because we maintain a comfortable distance.

Heard of the story of a porcupine family? In the winter, the porcupine family need to warm one another so that they can survive the winter. However, whenever they get too close, they ended up hurting one another with the spikes on their body. If they stay far apart for fear of hurting one another, they may just die of cold. The key is finding the right distance such that they don't poke one another yet can feel the warmth of their bodies.

I think that's pretty much like friendship. 凡是太尽，缘分必定尽失。

Can't help thinking about JQ cos he is coming back soon. I'm so happy! Hope to see Ed and Jack soon too!! (^_^)

Meanwhile, there is a budak pantai concert on 25th May, at YMCA. Tix price is $10 for student, $12 for non-students. anyone interested to come? can sms me or leave a comment here. gonna book the tix soon.

[I counted the years wrongly. terribly sorry.
Meaning, i must have escaped from my past for 9 years and i must have known my proofreader for 7 years!]