random

People like me tends to take things too hard. I'm telling myself, must relax!

Incident A

Last Sunday, I visited my grandma in the hospital. She had lung infection so she was adviced to be hospitalised. Doc suspected that the lung infection was induced by food that entered her lungs. hence, the Doc put a tube through her nose to her stomach so that she could eat. She was fine when i visited her... she was conscious of people around her, can smile etc.. but after the nurse put medicine through her tube, she started feeling uncomfortable. She told us she felt nauseous and had difficulty breathing. then everyone there become frantic... that made my grandma more frantic. my grandma turned quite pale and seemed to be in pain. We informed the nurse and a doc on duty. the nurse started pushing a few machines to the bed. that frightened us. the doc said he had to call a doc who specialised in lungs etc. that made us even more frantic. then i overheard my relatives calling other uncles and aunties who were not present at the hospital to come immediately. That made me so scared. I was so scared that i won't get to see her again. On one hand, i told myself that she would be fine 'cos she only had lung infection and is not life threatening. on the other hand, i thought of my grandpa who passed away suddenly in the same hospital.

After half hour or so, the specialist came. She checked my grandma and gave her another medicine. My grandma was fine after that.

Then, more of my relatives started streaming in... and glad that it was a false alarm.

erh... i guess some people can cope pretty well that old people have to pass on eventually... don't know why i just can't accept it. that day and few days after that, i kept thinking that maybe i should quickly find a guy, get married and give birth so that my grandma can get to see my completed life.

I'm still thinking of doing that. I'm just hoping my grandma will give me at least five years to do so.

Actually it wasn't the first time i got scared by her. just that the previous one was too traumatizing and i still can't quite get over the scare.


Incident B

Last Wednesday, i worked till almost 10pm. Manager was there, and she had no intention to leave early.... meaning, everyone stays with her. By the time i ended work, i was already too late to send my gf off at the airport. I was so upset. called my gf and explained to her. when i board the cab fifteen minutes before my gf board the plane, i asked the taxi uncle if it was possible to rush to the airport in fifteen minutes. he said twenty minutes would be possible. my mind was like 'damn! i miss by five minutes!', then i felt like crying. think my face was all red and eyes watery.... luckily the uncle started consoling me, telling me about his life etc... and i felt much better after listening to him.



erh, I'm not exactly making any point.

haha

actually, when i started typing this entry, i just wanted to update my life, about how i walked into a book shop today, after several months of not going book-shopping. The joy of entering a bookshop and the prospect of finding a great book in contrast with the feeling of finding nothing that fits my reading appetite at the moment is so great. What am i to do after i finish reading my current book?!!


To Windz: I understand what you're feeling.
To Wee: 说者无心，听者有意。 sometimes its just what you say that makes the difference. mm... perhaps that's what people called 'respect'. take care

People, love your life! treat yourself better! =D