I decided to go J8 for dinner on sat night. I wanted to buy a guitar tuner, maybe a book, a pair of shoes, a blouse,... i also wanted to have a feel of a few mobile phone models and check out their prices... I wanted to find a nice pair of speakers to replace my hifi too. These days i like to play music on my hifi and just lie on my bed, not thinking of anything. Realised that songs with lyrics tend to keep my mind busy. plain music is soothing. if only i have the big speakers in the 无间道 movie....

anyway, i ended up buying two books and a big bag of candy mix. =D (chewed off many bear heads. )

One of the books is 永不永不说再见，written by 张小娴. i bought my first 永不永不说再见 when i was in jc1. that's my first 张小娴 book. i remembered someone once told me not to read too much of that book because i would start having silly ideas, asking silly questions.

because of that, the book became my favourite book.

about three years after i bought the first book, i lent it out to an acquaintance. she told me that she likes chinese books so i recommended my favourite book to her. it's pretty rare to find girls who likes to read chinese books these days. at least, in my circle of female friends. anyway, at the end, i never got my book back. hope she enjoyed the book though.

actually after i decided that the book has turned into a bad-debt, i thought of finding a replacement. i remembered finding the book at book fairs, Popular outlets, 书城，but i simply couldn't find it.

but on Saturday, i found it at Popular. it's collecting dust on the shelf. Maybe there's still some affinity between me and the book.

Here's a 散文 from the book.

失去时，拥有时--张小娴

一位来自纽约的读者抄了一篇英文散文给我。当中许多段都很让人感动，其中一段的大意是这样的： 我们往往在失去是才明白自己曾经拥有的东西是这么美的；然而，同样的真理是：当我们能够拥有一样东西时，我们才会明白自己从前失去一些什么。

我们常常说：失去的东西总是最好的，消逝了的爱情总是最刻骨铭心的，离开了的情人是最完美的。你要好好珍惜现在的一切，免得有天会后悔。

是的，有些东西，一旦失去了，不会复来。然而，在计算得失的时候，我们曾否想过，你也许一辈子都不知道自己失去些什么？若你没有离开从前的那个人，你永远不会知道，原来你可以找到一段更好的爱情。

假如没有遇到他，你也许永远不知道，你从前所以为的爱情、牺牲、奉献和关怀，原来都是很肤浅的。今天的相遇，让你恍然明白，从前的那几段，原来都说不上是爱情。你从前朝思暮想，不能放弃的人，原来也算不得什么。上天多么的仁慈，让你终于拥有现在的一切。只差一点点，你便永远不会知道自己失去一些什么。

得和失之间，是多么的惊险？失去时，拥有时，也曾经过一番风云。

下面这段是送给一位朋友的。

祝你早日康复。

过去了，都过去了--张小娴

要从失恋的痛苦中复原来，只有一个办法，那就是学习去接受事实。事实是：这一段情已经过去了。

无论这个人有多么好或坏，无论那些日子那么快乐，现在已经过去了。只有接受这个事实，你才可以忘记一个你应该忘记的人。

有些人看来很理智，他会在失恋后不停分析自己为什么会失恋，又努力想和分手的情人再做朋友。他自以为已经复原了，其实，他做那么多的事情，只是没法接受爱情已经消逝了。

当我们还去挽救，还去苦缠，还去找借口，那只是我们不肯承认对方已经不爱我们了。

有些人无法振作起来，一天比一天憔悴。他抓住身边几个朋友不放，他们是他的救生圈。无论朋友怎样劝他，他只会重复地说同一句话：

“但是我真的很爱她！我没办法把她忘记。”

你有办法的，只是你不愿意。你害怕当你忘记她的，她也会忘记你。

什么事情都会成为过去，我们就是这样活过来的。